Hark ye all, here cometh 2006!

Aww! Another year is at the door, playing 'knock knock' jokes! Another year, phew! The 'best of 2005' lists are out in full measure - newspapers, magazines, blogs, books, websites and more.
Ugh! Same old stories regurgitated, just to refresh choc-a-bloc memories. Poor us. How much we try to remember, how much we try to cram, uff!

Just got back from KL this morning at 1.30 am. Slept through most of the day. The KL experience and some indelible moments deserve a separate blog. :)... (Suffice to say, my presentation rocked and how! yoo hoo! woo woo woo!)

Was reading comments on my blog this noon by the 'unknown guy' who has a name. I know who he is (by way of the connection that I do not wish to name here at this point in time), but I'm not sure how he got here and why! I think this privacy of mine which has been torn asunder would cast a kind of unnecessary pressure on my blogs which I've been guarding with zeal. I know, I know this is the Net and everything is public and blah blah blah, but barring 5 people no one knew of this blog. The person that I do not wish to name here (it causes me immense pain and grief to even think of this person and some amount of anger) knew of it, but I daresay would've not cared to remember this as....hold on! Why am I going on like this? What's the point? On New Year? In 2006? Get a hold on yourself lady! The glass of wine ain't doing you any good. You're rambling. You're a year older. The birthday looming large 2 weeks hence ain't helping either am sure. The greys which've been successfully and nicely covered by the ingredients of a plastic satchet bearing the brand name L'Oreal aren't helping either. The year gone by and the 'so what did I do' rewind trip with none too successful an answer ain't helping either. The sheer inundation of the mind by information of all sorts, the crowding of thoughts, the surfacing of forgotten emotions, no siree, nope, they ain't helping either.

It's New Year. 2006! Am sitting with a glass of red sweet wine, licking my lips in the aftermath of the swallow, savoring my solitude with music in the background, thinking about Shahid Kapoor's biceps, thinking about stuff that I just finished reading, the cold, chilly biting wind outside, the warmth of my quilt, the worry lines on my forehead thinking 'what will I do without ma', and worrying about dying alone, about no one giving me a decent burial, about all the so-called acquaintances and loved ones deserting me and me dying like the millions of unknown, unsung deaths - yes, that worries me - and of course about the looming Monday and the 'ideas' that I've to generate, the trip that I just managed to grin and bear (and I think I did it with great equanimity), the sheer obliteration of memory of the past 4 years' new year's eve (where the friggin' hell was I and what did I do? damn! it's like Paycheck), and the usual this and that and weight and hair and thickening thighs and waist problems that are now having me gulp that wine down with greater speed.

There's much in this world that I do not understand. There's much in this world that gives me grief. There's much in this world I do not know (and I do not wish to either, I want to be erudite, but I don't want to know 'everything', because then it takes the excitement out of living) and there's much in this world that I want to experience. Yes siree, I want to live life on the edge and so far have managed to inch close to the precipice, but there's a few feet to go before I can dangle precariously betwixt the decision of hope and hopelessness, between life and oblivion. Yo! I know that (hic!) er...umm...yeah, so as I was saying (God, wine is potent and the only drink that has got me drunk so far, ever, so let's bring it on, 'pour some more'), what was I saying? My head's gone for a spin on the highway to nowhere fuelled by some deep red sweet tasting stuff. Hic. Excuse me puhleeeze!

I bought a Nikon Cool Pix S3 from KL. My only indulgence besides Body Shop and underwear. I think I'll become a shutter bug tomorrow and try it out. It's sleek, (it's not silver, boo hoo hoo), it cost me a finger, it was slightly impulsive, am not into cameras and 'say cheese', but I still bought it. What's next on the list? Music system, a fancy TV and a nicer car. Boy friends, clothes, fatter salary, recognition for super work, great food and sex, travel can wait their turn in that order. Bah! Hah! Ho hum! I think I will gift World Space to ma...it's so much cheaper now. And should I go in for Onkyo or a Sony or go for a 'put together' music system? Hmmm! Decisions decisions! The New Year is already full up. :)

This year, I will keep my resolutions to a bare minimum. Depression to be kept at bay for sure. That's a first. I've already asked for references for a good 'couch' therapist :). I will love myself and pamper myself (one is alone and always will be, everyone and everything is an illusion, including life) silly. Keeping self happy has to and will occupy 'prime time' and hope it gets high TRP ratings. The rest will follow.

See New. Hear New. Feel New. The new 'mantra' for 2006.

This post is lousy, disjointed (like most of my posts, and I can safely blame it on the Port No. 5 wine from Goa as the culprit for the slight inebriation and thus the sheer nonsensical content of this post - such a relief to blame something else!) and I'm going to be out like a light now. Have to go pick up ma from the 'chug chug gaadi' station.

For all those who read my posts, for all those who don't, for those who I love, cherish, for all those who don't return the emotion, for all those who I've involuntarily caused pain, and for all those who've added the much needed colour to my otherwise drab life, here's looking at you!

I will be taking a break from blogging for a while.Tempus edax rerum! (For those who do not know what this means, read my posts...:)) Sigh! I wish I had a legion of fans begging me not to do this ( I oh so love to play grandstanding), but for my peace of mind, I need to.

Love you all guys and girls. Continue to dot my life because if you didn't, I'd be a big dash. With nothing to fill in that blank.

So what's at stake for you in 2006?

Hic!