Panic Attack

Suddenly. Racing heart beat. Palpitating. Couldn't breathe. Wanted to scream. Felt like death. Hopeless. Doom. Helpless. No future. Darkness. Fear.

Myriad emotions. Think of something quick - had to focus on something - quick quick. Deep breath. Work. More work. Lots more work. Gulps of water. Better. Slowly. Back to being abnormal.

It's happened before. Not very often. But it has. Frightening.

Back continues to hurt. Hurt, hurt, hurt. Head throbs - throb, throb, throb.

Need to breathe. In and out, in and out, in and out. Need to fight depression. Need to like myself. Need to focus. Need to many things. Where's the will?

Life hurts.