Not a peaceful easy feeling. Why?

Am not at work. Am at home. The breeze is breezy. Naughty. The curtains of my balcony door have been swung up and away like a girl in a man's arm doing the tango or the jive. It's sunny outside. Breezy inside. But how am I feeling?

Saw the last few minutes of Jerry McGuire. I remembered the scene in the elevator - 'you complete me' - or Renee's lines when she says, 'you had me at hello'.

So am finally off to Kabini on the 9th and 10th of July. Will be driving such a long distance after a long time. Looking forward to it. The wonderful lady at the Jungle Lodges booking office called me a 'tigress'. I wanted to look all 'hot' and sensual and had the crazy desire to do a pole dance to prove the title was not misplaced. Amith and I laughed. Sometimes people unwittingly cause us so much fun. Or pain.

Brazil is in the finals of the Confederation Cup. Meets Argentina. Sigh of relief! But the article in the TOI a couple of weeks ago on Brazil's style of play rang true. The samba men have become robotic and do look like any other European team. Why why why dammit!

I loved the short article on Francesco de Goya's painting in 2 halves of a nobleman displayed at the Prado museum in Spain. Artistic temperaments are hard to define, or curb. In fact should never be. Art I think is born of a disturbed mind. Normalcy probably gives birth to mediocrity. Something I need to explore. I hope I write my book now ha ha! I've never been more uneasy in the mind than now.

And I agree with Jug Suraiya's observation that people have this erroneous notion that those who write can perforce speak well too. In fact I've been thinking about it for a while now. I never seem to have the facility with words when I open my oral orifice to speak. My vocabulary seems to take a walk down the aisle of absentia and I'm always left with the feeling that I speak awfully. I wonder why that is.

Have been overeating. I think it's to keep from feeling depressed. I promised Shama that I won't mope. It requires tremendous will power.

I heard some song over the weekend called 'Bittersweet Symphony' by Oasis. Something in the lyrics caught my attention - 'I'm a million different people from one day to the next'. I haven't heard all my MP3s completely...sometimes it's a pleasant surprise. Lyricsfreak.com doesn't have the lyrics - isn't it by Oasis? Google to the rescue...wait! wait! wait!....Verve..some group called Verve! Okay, back to lyricsfreak.com....let's see what it throws up...hmmm! This line also seems approrpiate , 'I need to hear some sounds that recognise the pain in me, yeah.From one day to the next...'....yup! reflects the state of mind. Mine.

Restless. Uneasy. I need to dig deep for reserves of strength. My eyes mist over...