The upper when you're down

Everyone needs something to get them out of the mire of depression, rejection, disappointment, grief, pain, death and the jaw grabbing emotions of everyday life.

For me it is books. It dawned on me that I'm drawn to books like fireflies to light. I like the smell of books. I like to buy books by authors I've heard about and oft times I've bought books because I liked the synopsis.

Tuesdays with Morrie is one such. I had no clue it was such a bestseller. Picked it up at the Strand sale. Now it's everywhere.

Five people you meet in Heaven is another such. Same author different book.

I bought books today. Lots of them. Bus 9 to Paradise sounds really interesting. Thank you Irfan for recommending the author. Waiting to get between the covers...:). Guns, Germs and Steel - the title fascinated me and Bunty mentioned that it was quite interesting. If I'd shown even a remote interest in it, Bunty would've promptly added it to the list of books 'to be presented to R'. So I bought it today.

Last night after a girls' night out with boss and team mate, I thought I sent an interesting message to friends. Here's what it said 'High on vodka, low on life. What's the moral of the story? Best answer to get a prize.' Received 2 interesting answers: 1) Vodka is closer to Nirvana since it's higher 2) Black Russian.

On Language:
There are 2 words that I've been thinking of -
Conscience
Conscious

They're related yet mean different.
M-W's definitions state:
Conscience - " the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good."

Conscious - "(1) perceiving, apprehending, or noticing with a degree of controlled thought or observation (2) personally felt (4 ) capable of or marked by thought, will, design, or perception."

From the above it seems that the conscious is responsible for a conscience. But 'the sense or consciousness of....' definition implies that you need to have a conscience to feel conscious of...hmm! Interesting.

Something else that struck me - the noun form for 'deduce' and 'deduct' is 'deduction'. Similarly for 'induce' and 'induct' - 'induction' is the noun. English is truly, a remarkably obfuscating and sometimes illogical language, forever inducing one to explore its myriad depths and allowing one to deduce one's own conclusions to be inducted in spoken language at leisure.

I'm glad that I have been able to write about something other than my lack of sleep. I have been thinking, of course, of the events of the past 3 days and time and again it leaves me with questions, the answers to which I am powerless to unearth. I think sometimes questions need remain unanswered and therein lies my peace. Irksome. (Oh! I love irony or is it an oxymoron?).

Interesting comments:
Leo Buscaglia's Prologue to Bus 9 has this very interesting comment - 'It's obvious that if there were to be an actual earthly paradise it would be a very personal creation.' 'Life is paradise for those who love many things with a passion'. Yes!

Ogden Nash's pithy comment in verse may be terse but so complete - 'Purity. Is Obscurity.'

Aldous Huxley in his preface to Brave New World - 'Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment.' He continues, 'rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.'

Prologue and preface - same thing, different texture. Ah words!

From thoughts to books:
Another interesting book I've bought is John Irving's The World According to Garp. I'd heard of it eons agon, but amidst the Milky Way of Books, it got lost in the cosmic bubble of memory. I'm glad I bought it.

Oh I so wanted to purchase Jostein Gaarder's The Orange Girl - but I found the price of the book not in keeping with its size....:)...since when have books been priced so?...Well...if I live to see another day, I will buy it. I loved his previous work...an anthology of philosophy...sorry, that would be gross injustice,more a history of philosophy. Must read it again.

Irfan's left the country. I hope he has a good life. And I hope he continues to write. His short story was very very good. Sometimes I want the talent and the mind of all those people who write well so that I can be the greatest author, a writer par excellence, a legend. Well, well, well...desires know no bounds, loving to roam unfettered, weaving dreams never to be fulfilled.

I remember a song 'Gin Soaked Boy' - why? because its lyrics are something about the gin in the gin-soaked boy. Last night I was soaked in the vodka of pain. Lyricsfreak.com tells me the Gin Soaked Boy is by some group called Divine Comedy. Whoa! Brilliant lyrics...must listen to it all over again..should rummage through my MP3s...and listen to it more carefully...check this out:
I’m the darkness in the light
I’m the leftness in the right
I’m the rightness in the wrong
I’m the shortness in the long
I’m the goodness in the bad
I’m the saneness in the mad
I’m the sadness in the joy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the ghost in the machine
I’m the genius in the gene
I’m the beauty in the beast
I’m the sunset in the east
I’m the ruby in the dust
I’m the trust in the mistrust
I’m the trojan horse in troy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the tiger’s empty cage
I’m the mystery’s final page
I’m the stranger’s lonely glance
I’m the hero’s only chance
I’m the undiscovered land
I’m the single grain of sand
I’m the christmas morning toy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the world you’ll never see
I’m the slave you’ll never free
I’m the truth you’ll never know
I’m the place you’ll never go
I’m the sound you’ll never hear
I’m the course you’ll never steer
I’m the will you’ll not destroy
I’m the gin in the gin-soaked boy

I’m the half-truth in the lie
I’m the why not in the why
I’m the last roll of the die
I’m the old school in the tie
I’m the spirit in the sky
I’m the catcher in the rye
I’m the twinkle in her eye
I’m the Jeff Goldblum in the fly

Who am I?

Wow! The 4th stanza is something I'd like to dedicate to someone I know because that is how I feel. And there's mention of 'catcher in the rye'...how strangely appropriate, because someone I know loves that book.

Hmm! I just realized that I write as if someone's reading this drivel. Sigh!

But I hope He is reading and watching and listening. Because without Him who am I?