He who hesitates is lost!

I absolutely love Grey's anatomy! The serial is wonderful, because it's human. It's a lot like Chicago Hope or ER. But it is young and fun and humane. Now I like that.

This episode was all about 'Fear' - fear of rejection, fear of pain, fear of making a decision, fear of not knowing, fear of wondering. Fear is a crazy thing. It can spur or curb. The choice is really with us.

Like my fear of never being able to write a pithy or a complete tongue-in-cheek (Kurt Vonnegut style) account of whatever it is that I want to write about. Like my fear of being wanted and finding out that I never was and never will be. Like my fear of never writing a book. Like my fear of finding out that I will die alone. Like my fear of never being able to have a baby (actually am beginning to believe that). Like my fear of never being heroic enough to adopt a baby. Like my fear of dying a raving lunatic. Like my fear of never being able to travel to all the places that I really want to - Peru, Greece, Brazil, Holland, Bhutan, Meghalaya, Arunachal, Orissa, Pakistan and South Africa (among many others of course, but these are important and up there in the list and again not in this order). Like my fear of losing my hair and teeth and the elasticity of my skin. Like my fear of ageing ungracefully. Like my fear of being awash in tears and no one to say, 'hey sweetheart, it's ok, and it will all be alright'. Like my fear of finding out who I am and not liking what I find out. Like my fear of never being able to meet Spielberg and telling him how much I admire him and his unwavering support for the Jews. Like my fear of never being able to eat chocolate due to diabetes. Like my fear of never seeing my father again before he dies (dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Like my fear of never making my mother proud. Like my friends never understanding me. Like my fear of having a stroke when I'm driving because of road rage.
Like my fear of having a writer's block. Like my insatiable need to be loved for who I am and not for what everyone thinks I am.

And like...yeah, like fearing fear itself.

(I can never ever write a one line blog ever. I have verbal diarrohoea. No wonder... yeah, no wonder!)

But as I was saying about this episode of Grey's anatomy, besides fear being the key, it was all about well known aphorisms that we give so much lip-service to - he who hesitates is lost, a stitch in time saves nine, seize the day, and so on.

And yeah, the lady who let a tumour grow so big that it resembled a pig, ignored the hospital because she feared the hospital, she feared that if she went in one, she wouldn't come out again alive. She feared. Her fears came true.

And thus we all live in fear. Hoping it won't come true. And then magically...it does. Fear is truth? Or is fear belief? And belief truth? But I think it was Neale Donald Walsch's 'Conversations with God' where he mentioned about 'we make our fears come true'.

Which brings me to another aphorism - B +ve.

Carpe Diem!