Blank!
Nothing comes to mind where titles are concerned.
Am jealous and envious of someone and something (are jealousy and envy the same thing?).
Am relaxed yet completely wound up!
Is it ok to be jealous and envious? After all it's a human emotion. So how much slack do we cut ourselves for these supposedly negative and not very healthy emotions?
I don't cut any. I don't like being jealous or envious. But I am.
I'm also beginning to think that the 'funny bone' is the rib that was not taken from Man to create Woman. God intended Man to be the funny one. And Woman to be the woe-filled, hard working, child-bearing and marginalized 'other half'. That's why I think humour comes easier to men than women.
I'm also beginning to wonder if that is the reason why I can't laugh or perhaps forgive some of the relatives that I don't have a choice of being related to. Sometimes I want to gnash my teeth and let loose an explosive blood curdling scream of angst and an explosion of expletives because I'm hurt, tired and hate their behaviour, attitude and sometimes their success. Whoever said comparisons are odious knew what he/she was talking about. But then I come back to the fact that I am human and by default have an emotion called anger or even jealousy and envy and thus cannot help comparing. And thus it's okay to feel anger, jealousy and envy. Quod erat demonstradum!
But I began by saying I'm jealous of someone and something. It's not my relatives.
It doesn't matter. I will hopefully, move beyond, that sometimes demeaning sometimes empowering emotion and emerge powerful and mature and whole in my own right.
Right now, I am feeling uncomfortable. I'm feeling rejected. I'm feeling bad, sad, mad. Nothing new, but that's ok. This is my blog and I will write what I feel.
Ok! It's time for me to go bang that door really loudly! Maybe it'll make me feel good. I'm hoping the anger dissipates.
Or better still, I wish I could just pass out. Run so hard and so fast that I pass out. Yes, it'd nice to be a blank. And perhaps start afresh.
Am jealous and envious of someone and something (are jealousy and envy the same thing?).
Am relaxed yet completely wound up!
Is it ok to be jealous and envious? After all it's a human emotion. So how much slack do we cut ourselves for these supposedly negative and not very healthy emotions?
I don't cut any. I don't like being jealous or envious. But I am.
I'm also beginning to think that the 'funny bone' is the rib that was not taken from Man to create Woman. God intended Man to be the funny one. And Woman to be the woe-filled, hard working, child-bearing and marginalized 'other half'. That's why I think humour comes easier to men than women.
I'm also beginning to wonder if that is the reason why I can't laugh or perhaps forgive some of the relatives that I don't have a choice of being related to. Sometimes I want to gnash my teeth and let loose an explosive blood curdling scream of angst and an explosion of expletives because I'm hurt, tired and hate their behaviour, attitude and sometimes their success. Whoever said comparisons are odious knew what he/she was talking about. But then I come back to the fact that I am human and by default have an emotion called anger or even jealousy and envy and thus cannot help comparing. And thus it's okay to feel anger, jealousy and envy. Quod erat demonstradum!
But I began by saying I'm jealous of someone and something. It's not my relatives.
It doesn't matter. I will hopefully, move beyond, that sometimes demeaning sometimes empowering emotion and emerge powerful and mature and whole in my own right.
Right now, I am feeling uncomfortable. I'm feeling rejected. I'm feeling bad, sad, mad. Nothing new, but that's ok. This is my blog and I will write what I feel.
Ok! It's time for me to go bang that door really loudly! Maybe it'll make me feel good. I'm hoping the anger dissipates.
Or better still, I wish I could just pass out. Run so hard and so fast that I pass out. Yes, it'd nice to be a blank. And perhaps start afresh.
posted by Livin @ 5/14/2006 11:12:00 PM
2 Comments:
At 2:28 PM ,
Irfan said...
Recently, I was trying so hard for something - and the harder i tried- the more it hurt. Untill i gave it up completely. The pain ceased. And like a coy bird the same thing crept up next to me.
At 5:13 PM ,
Livin said...
Right. So what's the moral of the story? Give up and start afresh or wait and watch or...?
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