The Battle of the Bulge & Other Stories

Yes! So I'm old and fat and ugly! There! I've said it. It hurts like hell man...really!

Have you ever heard of someone who puts on weight even after 3 months of fairly regular gymming and dieting? Well I have. In fact I know this person too. She's really weighed down by her troubles! H-E-L-P!!!

(Ok! The other stories can wait for another day. There's a bag full where this came from, but then, honestly who gives a flying F#$K about an old, ugly and depressed lady!)

Trivia: The world moves - something about the earth rotating around the sun and the moon around the earth and all that.

But she finds her life doesn't. She seems rooted to bad luck like leeches to a tender calf. She's at a point in her life - it's called standstill.